My Uncle Pip died and left me his lucky bottle. I suppose I’m fortunate because he left my Grandma Mazur his false teeth. So, I’ve got this bottle now, and I don’t exactly know what to do with it. It’s not like I have a mantel. My name is Stephanie Plum, and I live in a bare-bones apartment on the outer edge of Trenton, New Jersey. I share the apartment with my hamster Rex, and he doesn’t know what to do with the bottle either. The lucky bottle is the size and shape of a beer bottle. The glass is red, and it looks hand-blown. It’s not entirely ugly, especially if you like beer, but it’s also not exotically pretty. And so far it hasn’t been very lucky. I have the bottle sitting on my kitchen counter, between Rex’s hamster cage and the brown bear cookie jar that holds my gun.
It was Monday morning, halfway through June, and Lula was in my apartment doing a pity pick-up because my hunk of junk car was dead, and I needed a ride to work.
“Hunh,” Lula said. “What’s that red bottle on your counter.”
“It’s my magic bottle.”
“Oh yeah, what’s so magic about it? It don’t look too lucky to me. Looks like one of them designer beer bottles only it’s got a fancy glass stopper in it.”
“It’s my inheritance from Uncle Pip.”
“I remember Uncle Pip,” Lula said. “He was older than dirt, right? Had a big carbuncle on his forehead. He was the one wandered out of the senior complex a couple weeks ago during that thunder storm, pissed on a downed electric wire, and electrocuted himself.”
“Yep. That was Uncle Pip.”
I’m a bond enforcement agent, working for my cousin Vinnie, and Lula is the office file clerk, wheelman, and fashion maven. Lula likes the challenge of fitting her plus size body into a size 8 poison green spandex miniskirt and leopard print top, and somehow it all comes together for Lula. Lula’s skin is milk chocolate, her hair this week is fire engine red, and her attitude is pure Jersey.
I’m a couple inches taller than Lula and where her body is overly voluptuous, mine is more 34B. My idea of fashion is a girl cut stretchy t-shirt, jeans and sneakers. My skin is nowhere near chocolate, my shoulder-length, naturally curly hair is plain ol’ brown and often pulled back into a ponytail, my eyes are blue, and I’m still trying to find my attitude.
I hung my purse on my shoulder and pushed Lula to the door. “We need to move. Connie called ten minutes ago, and she sounded frantic.”
“What’s with that?” Lula said. “Last time Connie was frantic was never.”
Connie Rosolli is the bail bonds office manager. My heritage is half Italian and half Hungarian. Connie is Italian through and through. Connie is a couple years older than I am, has more hair than I do, and a consistently better manicure. Her desk is strategically placed in front of Vinnie’s door, the better to slow down stiffed bookies, process servers, hookers with obviously active herpes, and a stream of perverted degenerates with quick rich schemes hatched while under the influence of who-knows-what.
Sizzling Sixteen by Janet Evanovich, copyright © 2010 by the author and reprinted with permission from St. Martin’s Griffin, an imprint of St. Martin’s Press, LLC:
Go Plum loco as someone’s out to kill Vinnie, Lula gets caught in a Ponzi scheme and Stephanie chases a dangerous skip.
Hardcover Book : 320 pages
Publisher: St. Martin's Press, LLC ( June 22, 2010 )
Item #: 12-956324
Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 8.25 x 0.75inches
Product Weight: 12.0 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Janet Evanovich is the funniest author I have ever read! I am always anticipating what Stephanie is going to do next. I love reading all of these books and there is never a dull moment in her life, if only mine could be so exciting! LOL... my 17 year old daughter has even read a few and loved them. They are hilarious! I can't wait for the next one!
I always look forward to the next Plum novel, some are better than others, but even so they are all better than the majority of what's out there. I'm a Morelli girl myself and hope they stick soon. Lula is a hoot and Carol, Vinnie, and Stephanie's family are also fun and crazy. I hope they don't make a mess of the series with the movie. Highly recommend.
Reviewer: Etta D
When is the 17th book with Plum, Morelli and Ranger comming? Can't wait to read it. Love to read these books. I'm hooked. I have read all of them.
As with all of JE's books, I enjoy the series. Keep on writing JE and don't stop.
I have read every one of her books, but this one did not do a thing for me, usually I am laughing so hard tears are running down my face...alas in her last few books not only are they getting shorter they lack the funny characters of her first books,With the same ole same ole love triangle getting really old!! She needs to freshen things up! give us more laughs and give us back the anticipation of waiting on the next book! ...
Janet needs to wake up! and realize her fans are losing interest in her mediocre stories...it is as if she thought who did the fans like best and flung them all together in sizzling 16....only it does not sizzle!
The new Diezel book is not much better! Though Karl the monkey has a key role in it...He is funny!
I saw her on tv here, morning after a book signing and she was like one big complaint!! I was so put off and disappointed ! with her attitude during the book signing and tv.. maybe she should stay home and write like she used too!!